Healthlink Worldwide

Three mother's stories

Three mothers share their experiences of the International Memory Project and how it has changed their lives.

Balinda, Uganda
Balinda is 27 years old, she has two sons and two daughters. Balinda first became involved with the Memory project in Uganda three years ago after being diagnosed as HIV positive.

She says: “At the start COBAP [Community Based AIDS Project, a local Ugandan community-based NGO] gave me counselling every day; now I see them once a week. When I first heard about the memory book project I knew I wanted take part, and now I have written one for my eight-year-old daughter. In the book I explained my situation and we talked about my husband’s death. The time we have spent together writing this book has been very special.

“I would encourage others to write a Memory book, although it can be difficult to trace the details of your husband. My husband died before he could tell me the information I needed, and his family found it hard to accept what I was doing.

“The Memory book training has been so helpful. It took our group [of about 26 people] a few days to understand what all the training was about, but now I am so pleased. I know why it helps to have written a will.”

Symbua, Kenya
Symbua graduated from Kinyata University, Kenya with a BA in Business and Mathematics. After graduating in 1999 she tested positive for HIV.

Symbua describes her situation since she was diagnosed: “My husband and I were married in 1996 and we had two children. When I found out I was positive I wanted to be knocked down by a vehicle so I could die.

“At first my husband’s relatives were supportive but they changed and my husband told me to leave my home. I took my second son to the country, but sadly, after two months he died. After this I decided to come back to Nairobi where I attended a [WOFAK] workshop. They gave me counselling and medical treatment and in 2001 I became a staff member.

“I spent a month last Christmas with my seven-year old son; it was wonderful to spend time with him. I want to start writing a Memory book for him.

“I am very optimistic now; I have been taught and I teach others, I enjoy talking about good nutrition and having a positive attitude. I was so thin, but now with anti retro-viral drugs and through eating well I will grow fat!”

Mary, Uganda
Mary, from Uganda, has HIV. She supports seven children – three of her own and four step-children, whose father died from HIV/AIDS.

Mary says: “When my husband died in 1985 I knew that I had a virus. At that time people didn’t know what it was, we just knew there was a virus spreading. In 1992 when I tested positive I wasn’t afraid as I knew I’d had it all along, I just hadn’t known its name.”

Mary describes her experiences of working with Memory books: “It has helped me so much, especially with learning about my background and tracing my family. I have attended courses run as part of the Memory project and now I can counsel my own children on HIV issues. This has had a very beneficial effect on them.

“I am not worried about the future. The Memory book and training have helped me explain to my children that I am positive and that one day I will die, so I have been able to prepare them. But I also explain that everyone dies one day, and I am just the same.’

Please note: the names of the women featured in these stories have been changed.
All photography copyright Georgina Cranston